The Difficulties of Growing Older: A Tragic Truth

Growing older is something I’ve been reflecting on deeply, not just from personal experience but from what I’ve witnessed around me. It’s supposed to be a time of peace, a moment to look back on a life filled with love, achievements, and cherished memories. But the reality for so many, myself included, is far from that.

Ageing is a difficult path, not only for those who walk it but for the people who care about them. Our bodies weaken, our minds betray us, and worst of all, society seems to abandon us at the very moment we need support. The harsh truth is, for those battling illnesses like Alzheimer’s or dementia, the challenges are magnified tenfold. Fear replaces clarity, frustration replaces independence, and moments of dignity feel like fleeting luxuries.

Even when you have family, the journey through old age often feels isolating and filled with physical pain, emotional sadness, and financial insecurity. For those without family, the isolation can be devastating.

When Our Health Fails Us

After years of working, loving, and contributing to the world, our bodies begin to fail. Chronic conditions like arthritis, heart disease, and other illnesses become constant struggles. But for those living with dementia or Alzheimer’s, the pain isn’t just physical; it’s the heartbreak of losing yourself.

Imagine forgetting the faces of your children or the details of your own life. Simple tasks like getting dressed or preparing food become mountains you can’t climb. I’ve seen this happen to people I care about. It’s devastating for them and for those who love them. Watching someone you’ve known your whole life slowly fade away is one of life’s cruellest experiences.

What Happens When Family Isn’t Enough?

We often imagine our children or loved ones will be there to care for us when the time comes. For some, they are. But even the most devoted families can be stretched too thin. Caring for an ageing parent while balancing work, children, and daily responsibilities takes an unimaginable toll. Relationships fray, and everyone is left exhausted.

For those without children or a strong support system, the fear of being alone is overwhelming. Who will advocate for you when you can’t? Who will hold your hand in moments of fear or confusion? Often, the only option is professional care, which brings its own set of challenges, most of them financial.

The truth is harsh: ageing with dignity has become a privilege for the wealthy. Basic care in a senior home here in Portugal can cost upwards of 1,500 euros per month. For specialised care in dementia or Alzheimer’s facilities, that number often exceeds 2,000 euros. How can anyone afford this on a minimum wage of around 900 euros? And the medical and medication care can be just as high and expensive.

Even in-home care services, like help with bathing, meals, or light cleaning, can cost between 400 and 700 euros per month, depending on how much support you need. Families are often forced to make impossible choices: go into debt, sacrifice what little they’ve saved, or place their loved ones in overcrowded, underfunded facilities where quality care isn’t guaranteed.

It feels like the world is telling us that only the rich deserve to grow old with dignity.

Beyond the physical and financial struggles, one of the hardest parts of ageing is the way society starts to treat you. I’ve felt it myself: the sense of becoming invisible, like my experiences and contributions no longer matter.

For those with dementia or Alzheimer’s, the stigma is even worse. People grow impatient, avoid interactions, or worse, act as if those with cognitive illnesses aren’t even there. It’s heartbreaking to see someone who was once so vibrant reduced to being “a burden” in the eyes of others.

Governments don’t do enough either.

Public elder care facilities are overcrowded and underfunded, staffed by workers who are underpaid and stretched too thin. After a lifetime of paying taxes and contributing to society, the support we receive feels like an afterthought.

The pain of ageing isn’t just in the body or the wallet it’s in the soul. Losing autonomy, dignity, and purpose cuts deeper than any physical ailment. Many older people feel like they’re nothing but a burden to their families. Depression and loneliness creep in, especially for those without close ties to family or community.

And then there’s the feeling of being forgotten. Society rushes forward, focusing on the younger generations, leaving older adults behind as though their wisdom and humanity are no longer of value. That sense of invisibility is one of the most painful parts of growing older.

I don’t have all the answers, but I know that things need to change. Here’s what I believe could make a difference:

Support Family Caregivers: Families need resources like respite care, financial aid, and counselling to help them shoulder the burden of caregiving.

Fight Ageism: We need to educate people about the value of older adults and dismantle the stigma surrounding diseases like dementia.

Provide Mental Health Support: Counselling and support groups for the elderly and their families can make a huge difference.

Build Community Connections: Programs that involve seniors in community activities can fight loneliness and give them a renewed sense of purpose.

Improve Elder Care Funding: Governments must prioritise funding for quality public elder care facilities and services.

Growing older isn’t a tragedy; it’s a part of life. But for too many, it’s become a lonely, painful, and expensive journey. Whether we’re healthy or battling illnesses like dementia, and whether we have children or not, we all deserve respect, love, and care in our later years.

This is my personal view, born from my own experiences and observations. I share it not to dwell in sadness but to spark conversation and reflection.

One day, we will all be in their shoes. Let’s create a world where we treat our elders the way we’d want to be treated. It’s the least we can do for them and for ourselves.